Our parents should have asked us this question when we were in our late teens or early 20’s and dating someone seriously. Would you date or marry your boyfriend’s father? Or vice versa. Would you date or marry your girlfriend’s mother? If the answer is no, it might have been a good idea to take a second look at the relationship. We take on many of the personality quirks of our parents!
If you follow a spiritual path and consider yourself a sensitive /empathic person, toxic people will challenge you. There are many types of toxic people, and old souls are highly sensitive; both emotionally and physically. I believe those of us drawn to follow a spiritual path are so open, we may accept people more easily than folks who might be cynical and perhaps, not as sensitive.
I asked Germain this question--- how do we recognize toxic people, and secondly, how do we handle them? I gave him this list of my own definitions of toxic people. I asked him to share his thoughts from a spiritual perspective.
· They are motivated to act in order to get their own needs met.
This is the person who plays a part just like an actor until he gets what he wants from you.
· They are generous for the wrong reasons.
This can be someone you have known for only a short time and they are bringing you expensive presents; or they want to take you on a vacation. You know you are not ready for this intimate exchange, but it is hard to resist. RESIST!!!!!
They complain when you first meet them. Guess what? it will be the same when you leave them!
They are often selfish and narcissistic. They follow the mantra——Life revolves around me! They are often spoiled by parents.
· They pull you down and don’t pick you up
Run as fast as you can!
They have an overly positive view of themselves and always know what is right course of action in any situation.
Always complaining you should do things the way they do; or always correcting the way you do things.
· Responds to criticism poorly-
This speaks for itself!
Overly positive---- especially at the beginning of the relationship.
Trying to impress you! Relationships need time to grow. Walk like a turtle not a hare!
You are the therapist in the relationship.
They will never be a husband or wife---- and either will you! You will be a therapist!
Egocentric – my way or no way!
They are right and you are wrong. Always complaining or angry about someone, or something.
Outwardly charming until their true colors are revealed
When they relax and take their guard down you will see their true colors and hopefully not be caught in their web!
· A need to get their own way – spoiled
You will always give up your own needs to keep the peace!
They might yell rather than speak—and then the reverse; they will try to make up. It’s a pattern.
Eventually this will wear you down
They put themselves first. For instance--- an elderly person mistakenly blocks their parked car and they will yell and scream at this person to move it.
This is a good indication they have a limited sense of compassion for others.
Often they have few friends or no friends.
Explore this with them--- Ask—who is your best friend?
You often feel like you’re walking on eggshells
Run as fast as you can--- you will never be able to speak freely. A relationship like this is torture!
They won’t take no for an answer and are pushy.
